Ahhhh, Pharmucopia at Last!

When former Colorado governor Dick Lamm joked in his recent book (A Brave New World of Healthcare) that by 2066 we will spend 100% of our GDP on Healthcare I began to wonder what that world would look like. Would we take pills for food? Will we all have a permanent IV implant that would constantly feed and nourish our every need through a venous portal? What about work? I guess we would all work for a health care company or not at all and as a doctor I guess my future would be pretty secure. Maybe vaccines would take care of everything since we seem to be vaccinating all sorts of ailments from polio to the common cold. Whatever the future looks like in this scenario I was fairly sure I didn't want to be a part of it. Until recently that is.

A new report came out this week on a recent study of our water supply that shows all sorts of drugs floating around in our water from antipsychotics to sex hormones. A virtual pharmucopia. This started to bring the picture into a little more clarity and it really doesn't sound so bad now. Pharmaceutical companies obviously know what is best for us and they have been told incessantly how difficult it is to swallow their horse pills so they are coming up with the perfect solution. Put the pills in the water supply. I knew I had felt better lately and in my naivete I had given the credit to my wife who had recently placed me on a vitamin drink. How simple of me. Clearly the pills in the water supply are taking care of my every need from constipation to diarrhea and everything in between. The antibiotics keep me healthy from infection. The antidepressants keep me happy. There are even anti-convulsants in there in case my brain should decide to give me a seizure. These brilliant pharmaceutical phriends have thought of everything! And I had the audacity to doubt them. I want to take this opportunity to apologize to all pharmaceutical companies and reps who come into my office because clearly they they do know what is best for me and my patients. I don't even dread the future any more and I think a world of all health care is starting to look pretty good......in fact I am starting to get sleepy. In the end it is nice to know that when our politicians say they want "universal health care" that the drug comanies take them literally. Cradle to grave baby. Your wish is their command.